Angry Cartoon

To the lady on the 9:39 Fast to CST.

 Ma’am, I compliment you on your hair-care regimen and the genetics behind the raw product.

You have lovely dark brown hair. It is thick, with a slight wave and your salon has cut it right and used this wave to your advantage giving your hairstyle volume and bounce . The streaks are tastefully done. You have no split ends (a wonder in this modern age), no dandruff and your hair was well washed and conditioned.

If I had a salon of my own I would love to have you as a customer and an advertisement. If I ran a modeling agency, I would recruit you. But I’m not either of these.

I am the hapless commuter that stood behind you till Dadar trying not to asphyxiate. So I request you for god’s sake (and mine!) TIE IT UP WOMAN.

The movies and shampoo ads where they show heroine’s hair wafting past hero and envious other women is over-rated. Reality – someone else’s hair in face and mouth is really irritating. Even if you were as hot as Sean Connery in Marnie it would be irritating.

Following my advice will also be to your advantage 

a) You avoid the tangled, bird-nest look which really does not suit you as much.

b) You don’t have to risk your life in your occassional moments of public spiritedness when you do try to hold your hair out of the way. I know how difficult it is to hang one-handed from the patti. I was hanging from the same one.

c) You won’t go to jail on manslaughter charges when someone dies of asphyxiation or falls off the train trying to avoid it.

So go invest in a clip or a hair band, or if you are unwilling to invest the Rs. 5 required, I will be happy to fund you and once you have made said investment, use it and TIE THAT HAIR UP.


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